Travel with a Beveridge: This here's a fancy eatin' table

Saturday, March 8, 2008

This here's a fancy eatin' table

Kingdom Billiards has the solution for pool sharks who don’t have room in their houses for a billiards table.

The company based in Sacramento, Calif., has designed classy dining room tables that fit snuggly over its high-end pool tables.

“You can add the table top to any pool table for $595,” a company salesman said today at the Pittsburgh Home and Garden Show.

This product had to be inspired by the television show, “The Beverly Hillbillies,” whose characters passed around a crock possum grits on the end of a pool stick while mistakenly thinking their billiards table was meant for dining with good company.

It’s a good idea to purchase a vinyl cover to sandwich between the two tables to protect the pool table’s felt-covered slate top from spilled gravy. It’s highly recommended if you plan to invite me over to dinner or one my neighbors from up Turkey Hollow because we have a tendency to drool when we see food.

But then again, money wouldn’t be an issue in your home because these finely-crafted maple pool tables start at $4,800 without the parts for spreading the fine china.

1 comment:

Brant said...: That's a nice piece of furniture. Wish I had the cash to get one. One question, though. Do the "pot passers" come with the table, or are they extra?; March 10, 2008 at 10:54 AM

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WELCOME TO NOWHERE

Scott Beveridge grew up in Webster, Pa., a village along the Monongahela River that experienced one of worst environmental nightmares in the United States. His family moved there in 1960 about the same time the nearby zinc and steel mills ceased production. Those mill furnaces were to blame for the damages that awoke America to the dangers of air pollution. After their demise, the grass and trees began to return to the barren landscape that appeared as if it belonged on the moon. His short stories about that adventure appear under these links: Introduction: The warning signs were there

Part 1: Where the houses turned black - The murders killed our reputation - Steel wives were desperate - A cantankerous boom town - Dying for fresh air - A railroad to disaster

Part 2: Bad boys of Webster - The seedy side of town - Swept out the door - A storm was brewing - The search for plant life - Little hope for Donora - Another mill folds

Scott sends dirty clothes home when on the road

If you are like him when you travel, your clothes seem to take up more space in your suitcase after you have worn them. Take a tip from Scotty and mail yourself a package home filled with those dirty socks, underwear and T-shirts after you have been on the road for five or six days. You can buy a box and enough postage at the post office for less than $15. Postal workers seem to get a kick out of the idea, and they will even help you fold your box and tape it closed, too. Seek out a post office in a small town, where the workers have more time to gossip, while driving to a tourist destination. Now, you have room in your carryon to cart home your souvenirs, without having to worry about them getting broken or flown to St. Louis when your switchover is aiming for Pittsburgh.

He also hates road warriors; prefers to chill on down time

The successful traveler packs a personality blessed with patience and some understanding of the road.

Scott says do everyone a favor and STAY HOME if you are an anal retentive, control freak who spends far too much time complaining about life. When traveling, folks always take the risk of flight delays and cultural misunderstandings, or having companions who don’t wear watches or luggage and could land in Macon, Ga., when they are flying to Istanbul.

So keep a book or two in your carryon in case you are stuck in the airport in Haiti while rebels are burning tires in the streets and preventing the pilot from reaching the cockpit of your plane. That bag should also carry any prescription drugs you need, deodorant and toothpaste, along with a toothbrush, clean pair of underwear and T-shirt.

When you arrive, please don't linger in your hotel room. Go outside to meet interesting people. You can sleep when you get home.

Always take a moment to sit down and remove your shoes, like the old man in Hanoi, who is shown in the above photograph at the Temple of Literature in Hanoi.

And before you fly overseas, please check with the U.S. Department of State to find out which countries hate Americans the most.