Dear Howie Mandel,
My favorite part of the movie “Bruce Almighty” was when Morgan Freeman’s God character was telling Jim Carrey (who played the poor schlep who couldn’t get a break) about his “divine spark.”
“You have a gift for bringing joy and laughter to the world,” he told him.
Now, I’m not God. Hell, I’m not even Morgan Freeman, but I can tell you Howie Mandel it doesn’t take a deity to know you don’t have the spark, my man.
While I loved your work with Fred Savage in “Little Monsters” (gimme a break, I was like, 8) you’re recent stint on the hit game show “Deal or No Deal” is just a little too much.
Sure, the show has a mindless appeal, but you don’t. I’m just one woman talking, Howie, but I’ve gotta tell you that your jokes are flat. Busted. Beat. Old.
I didn’t know the exact word for your brand of humor until seeing a plug for your newest venture with NBC. The unscripted show will be titled, “Howdie Do It.” Really, Howie? You identify yourself as a comedian and then sign on to do a show with that much of a shameless pun?
Oh my! That kind of cheesetastic humor might be OK on a game show – it seems like all the hosts have their own brand of creepy cheerfulness – but don’t bring it into the comedy realm, please.
Another one of my spiritual advisers, Neil Young, once wrote: “You were born to rock, you’ll never be an opera star.”
So I’m writing to let you know: You were born to give away money in briefcases, and you’ll never be a comedy star.
Just so you know.
Amanda “keep your puns to yourself, please,” Gillooly