Dear Mr. Grinch, et all:
Get over yourself, and smile for goodness sakes.
And you know I don’t mean the literal Mr. Grinch (and yes, Grumpy Old Editor), I do mean literal). I’m talking about all those bitter, miserable peeps out there who don’t give a damn that Santa Claus is coming to town.
You know who you are. Male or female, you’re “that guy” – the one who zips through traffic on Interstate 79, cutting people off at 80-plus mph only to get a car-length ahead at the onramp. I saw you today, Mr. Handlebar Mustache With the Ugly-Ass Taurus.
You’re the woman with the designer boots and Coach handbag who doesn’t even make eye contact with the dude outside her local supermarket, bundled up and waiting for someone to drop a few coins (or by God a dollarini or two) into the Salvation Army bucket he’s ringing a bell for.
You know who you are. You’re the one who gives dirty looks to babies cooing at church because you can’t hear the sermon. And you’re also the one who can’t make a joke unless it’s at the expense of someone else’s intelligence.
Screw all you guys. It’s almost Christmas (or whatever holiday you celebrate). And damn it, I know you are idiots all year round, but I thought that with the arrival of December, maybe you’d pipe down and try to be a bit more…well…noble. A bit more caring. I was hoping that people would loosen up those bowties, get the right size bra for their puppies and dislodge the rather sizeable sticks up their derrières.
But hey, it’s only the first day of December. We still have a couple dozen days to invoke the spirit of Cindy Lou Who, Cousin Eddie or more importantly, perhaps, my own personal hero: George Bailey of “It’s a Wonderful Life” fame.
I don’t mean to rant (it’s just not in my nature. OK. That was a joke). I just know that this is the time of year where I try (more than usual) to center my Chi and get my Karma in order. Whatever you want to call it, I guess this time of year helps me try to see the best in others, and even in myself.
So the Grinches and Scrooges out there, I may have started out saying, “Screw you.” But that’s just not nice, and what kind of example would I be setting anyway?
I’ll just end with this, a few words of inspiration from one of the Great Writers. If he can’t help us all understand what a special time we have before us, I don’t know who can.
“I have always thought of Christmas time, when it has come round, as a good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar of the year, when men and women seem by one consent to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think of people below them as if they really were fellow passengers to the grave, and not another race of creatures bound on other journeys.” ~Charles Dickens
Amanda “bring on ‘Garfield’s Christmas’” Gillooly