a newspaper man adjusts his pen

Monday, June 2, 2008

Time to stuff the Pirates pierogis


My podmate in the newsroom, Amanda Gillooly, thinks the racing pierogi characters are cool attractions to the Pittsburgh Pirates home games. They pay homage to mighty fine Polish dumplings dripping in butter and onions that are pretty much exclusive to the Pittsburgh food market, she said.

Gillooly’s right about the half moon noodle wraps that can be stuffed with sauerkraut, potatoes or cottage cheese. They are worth their weight in cholesterol.

In case you don’t know, animated characters shaped like big blobs of dough named Oliver Onion, Sauerkraut Saul, Jalapeno Hannah and Cheese Chester hold silly races after the fifth inning of home games. Boring.

It’s long overdue to come up with a fresh idea to replace those ridiculous mascots with something that doesn’t perpetuate the notion that Pittsburghers are a bunch of no-necks. Send the pierogis to the new all-you-can-eat seats, and pass around the yellow lard otherwise known as nacho cheese.

4 comments:

Amanda Gillooly said...

Dude, I'm with Cheese Chester all the way.

Mike Jones said...

I cry every time I think about what happened to Potato Pete - one of the original pirogies. I'm still waiting to see his portly face/body on a cartoon of skim milk.

Scott Beveridge said...

What tragedy befell upon Potato Pete?

Anonymous said...

Don't hate, Scott. We something to smile at during Pirates games, and nothing on the field of play provides as much pleasure.