a newspaper man adjusts his pen

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Used undies worth keeping


By Amanda Gillooly

As a high school student, I went through a phase where I wanted to buy all my clothing at thrift stores.

Almost.

No matter the thrift store, there was always a section of used undergarments, and I always thought to myself, “Is there anyone out there who REALLY thinks buying a pair of yellowed briefs is a good life choice?”

Apparently, I’m just not hip enough because some people with money want them. The Associated Press reported Monday that former boyfriend and baby-daddy of the late Anna Nicole Smith, Larry Birkhead, bought up $3,000 worth of her old undies.

OK. Maybe that’s a bit of an understatement. It’s not like he paid $3K for those old yellow briefs. These unmentionables were worn by Smith during a Playboy shoot for which she was propelled to fame.

So, is he just a weirdo who collects the bedroom clothes to smell in the privacy of his own home, or something? Actually, the reason why he’s a weirdo is because he bought them to ensure that the pair’s 1-year-old daughter, Dannielynn, would have a piece of her mother’s legacy.

Indeed, Birkhead told the AP: “I have a lot of history I have to put together that she doesn’t really know about. Playboy was such a big part of her life.”

I don’t know – but if all I had to remember my late mother by were a pink bustier and a white negligee from a Playboy shoot, I’d wonder what kind of legacy she left in the first place.

But after a moment’s thought and a brief Internet search, it appeared that Birkhead’s idea of buying worn gutchies as collectors’ items can be downright noble.

At an estate sale at Pam Anderson’s house early last month, for example, the former “Baywatch” star sold a chain mail bra amd satin negligees and stripper heals along with other household items to hungry buyers. The items sold, but at least she donated the cash to her favorite charity, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

I just feel bad for whoever bought the underwear. Do you think Hepatitis C can live on chain mail? Let’s hope not, for the buyer’s sake.

2 comments:

Scott Beveridge said...

Just the thought of packing away my Mother's undies in the cedar chest after she is gone creeps me out.

Brant said...

Re those celebs' undies: I'd be dousing them in Clorox, for a week. My mother always told me not to pick up things off the street because "you don't know where they've been." With these undies, you know where they've been, and that's even worse.