The terrible toilet seat

By Scott Beveridge

PITTSBURGH – It would be easy to explain why someone would grab a brick or a chunk of concrete to take home and remember a football stadium while it is being demolished.

It's not the case for Denny DeLuca, a chef on Pittsburgh's North Side.  He grabbed a toilet seat from the last stall on the right in the rest room at the section frequented by him and his children during Steelers games at Three Rivers Stadium - before the team's home park disappeared in a 2001 implosion.

"Don't worry about it, it's been disinfected," DeLuca explains in a video at an art gallery in Pittsburgh where his off-the-wall Steelers man cave has been installed at Carnegie Mellon University.

Most Yinzers, though, will understand why DeLuca placed a sign across the seat stating it's the only sign of life in Cleveland, the Steelers' biggest rival, before he hung the black plastic toilet cover on the wall of his Carnegie game room. The pile of fake plastic poop glued to the side of the seat is another story.

His shrine is wall-to-wall Steelers, and it rises to the level of primitive art. A dummy of Troy Polamalu hangs from the ceiling as if the team's strong safety is flying after a loose football. A sliver of an steel I-beam where DeLuca scribbled memories of great plays at Three Rivers Stadium sits below his flat screen TV. There is a string of game day tickets across one wall next to his large collection of miniature plastic Steelers players. Two tiny dead Ravens - birds representing the hated team from Baltimore - hang from a string beside the TV.

The display gets weirder and wonderful, and you have just one week left to see it for yourself. The show has been extended because the Steelers are playing the Green Bay Packers Feb. 6 in Super Bowl XLV.

DeLuca's basement room is "crammed floor to ceiling with hundreds of handmade and altered objects, each with its own story that describes both the biography of the team and Denny's autobiography," the  curators explain in a pamphlet about the show titled, "Whatever it Takes: Steelers Fan Collections, Rituals, and Obsessions."

Astria Suparak, the gallery curator, and Jon Rubin, an assistant CMU professor of art, are newbies in Pittsburgh, and they were inspired to create the exhibit after being struck by the singular nature of Pittsburgh's immersion in all things black-and-gold, an article in the Observer-Reporter explains.

The show also celebrates how one fan sets aside 62 minutes before each game to afford enough time to kiss every Steelers item in the house prior to kickoff.

Meanwhile, it also pays tribute to a string of fans who have adorned their bodies with Steelers tattoos. One of them actually thought he would look good with a tattoo inked across his chest of a hand with its middle finger wearing a Steelers ring and flipping the bird. Another favored a tattoo up and down his arm of team founder Art Rooney Sr. smoking a cigar - as if either are sexy.

The show organizers attempt to explain the odd fan obsession with the Steelers through a generation spawned by great teams of the 1970s, the collapse of the steel industry and the city's working man mentality. 

"The team mirrored the values and desires of its working class fans: they were owned by a self-made local family, named after the local industry, and had a relentlessly hard-nosed playing style," the brochure states. 

It's a good try by outsiders to explain us, but I tend to think we have crazy fans here because we also have a great football team that plays exciting, nail-biting games even when it loses.

The gallery can be found in the Purnell Center for the Arts, 5000 Forbes Ave. Hours: noon to 6 p.m. Tuesday through Saturday. A Super Bowl party and closing remarks are set for 6 p.m. Feb. 6. Complimentary snacks and BEVERAGES, sponsored by Iron City Brewing Co. Admission is free.

The black and gold calf, left, and Steelers SuperFan by Lem Apperson.

Big Ben mania is giving me a headache

Ben Roethlisberger before his latest scandal (Observer-Reporter/Greg Tarr)

It would appear Pittsburgh and even America is obsessed with pro-football superstar Benjamin Todd "Big Ben" Roethlisberger as the regular NFL season begins this week and the Steelers quarterback's image remains tarnished by his alleged off-field indiscretions.

No sooner had my airplane touched down Aug. 28 for a much-needed vacation out West did a Salt Lake City, Utah, hotel bartender ask me about the future of the Steelers after I identified myself to him as being from Pittsburgh. And then the conversation quickly  turned to the team's strong safety, Troy Polamalu, and his ridiculous head of hair, which reports indicate has been insured for $1 million.

Similar conversations about Ben being suspended by the NFL for four regular games over "that bathroom incident" with a young woman in Georgia this summer, as well as Troy's hairdo, continued across Wyoming, Idaho and Montana as soon as strangers recognized my Pittsburgh accent.

The goal was to get away for a week from all this drama that has played so heavily on the hearts of my beloved City of Champions.

No sooner was I back home that unrelated obligations required me to attend tonight a charity event in Washington, Pa., hosted by EQT Corp., an energy giant that graciously hosted a Steelers pre-season panel discussion. The topic there centered almost exclusively for more than an hour on Mr. Roesthlisberger among guest speakers Ellis Cannon, Edmund Nelson and Dale Lolley. The discussion was interesting, nonetheless.

"Let's not act as if we're at a funeral because Ben is not going to be there for four weeks," said Nelson, a KDKA analyst and former Steelers tackle. "I don't give Ben the credit nearly everyone else does," he said, evoking applause from the ballroom at Holiday Inn Meadowlands.

Nelson said he isn't writing this Super Bowl-winning team off simply because its quarterback will be watching from the sidelines Sunday when the team hosts Atlanta.

"It's an interesting dynamic this season. No team has ever gone through what the Steelers are right now with their starting quarterback suspended," added Lolley, who covers the team for the Observer-Reporter newspaper in Washington, Pa.

Lolley said Roethlisberger showed up for spring training this year looking in better physical shape than ever, and also appearing to be kissing babies and "taking on the job to reinvent himself."

This will continue to be the storyline throughout the season, said Cannon, a radio personality who publishes "Pittsburgh Sports Report."

Win or lose, it will be all about "having Ben or not having Ben," Cannon said.

OK. That said, it's my turn at the commentary.

Troy - get your mop cut like a man. Big hair went out of style in the 1980s.

Ben - boys and girls from Polish Hill in Pittsburgh to South Greensburg, Pa., have already taken down your posters from their bedrooms. It might be too late for you to grow up here.

Steelers Santa

P1050213_edited-1, originally uploaded by southside_johnny.

Still working on finding the right cat dressed as Santa Claws......

Steelers' kicker cited once more

Pennsylvania Rep. Tim Solobay, a Democrat from Canonsburg, presents Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed with a citation from the House of Representatives for community service at the Washington Crown Center mall.

By Scott Beveridge

WASHINGTON, Pa. – Pittsburgh Steelers kicker Jeff Reed has been cited again, this time for good behavior.

Reed, who was charged over a confrontation with Pittsburgh police following the Cleveland Browns game two weeks ago, was given a citation Tuesday from the Pennsylvania House of Representatives for turning out for a charity to feed the poor at Thanksgiving.

“Oh, this is a good citation. This is the only one that won’t get you into trouble,” Pennsylvania Rep. Tim Solobay, a Canonsburg Democrat, said while presenting the citation to the player at the Washington Crown Center mall in North Franklin Township.

Reed, who is contesting his recent brush with police, smiled and appeared to blush when he accepted the gift from Solobay. He also got into trouble with police last summer for beating up a paper towel dispenser in a Westmoreland County convenience store.

Some people brought him paper towel dispensers to sign at the mall, and he did so while charging double the price for an autograph to raise money for the Greater Washington County Food Bank.

The food bank is the repository for money raised through the annual 2000 Turkeys campaign in the area that provides Thanksgiving turkeys for low-income families.

More than 200 people turned out an hour early and stood in a long line to pay $10 for an autograph from Reed. It cost those who waited another $10 for a signature from his teammate, Chris Hoke, a starting nose tackle.

Donations also are being accepted at 2000 Turkeys, P.O. Box 2000, Washington, PA 15301.

This Steelers quarterback has lost his head

A Muffler Men roadside attraction painted to appear like a Pittsburgh Steeler isn't getting its storm-damaged head back anytime soon. Photo by Charity Beveridge.

GREENSBURG, Pa. – The Pittsburgh Steelers will begin the regular season Thursday with one of the team’s larger-than-life former quarterbacks still missing his head in Greensburg.

The owner of a giant Muffler Men statue that was painted to appear in a black-and-gold team uniform doesn’t have the money to reattach its head that was toppled by high winds several years ago.

“It’s in the works, but in this economy…,” said Brian Baughman, owner of Lugnutz Tire and Custom Auto on New Alexander Ave in Greensburg where the disfigured statue rests. “I still have the head.”

He’s had estimates that it would cost as much as $3,500 to return the head to the hollow, nearly 20-foot fiberglass frame that has been a landmark in southwestern Pennsylvania.

Many of these quirky roadside attractions still dot America’s landscape, having been painted to look like the mythical Paul Bunyan holding an ax or a tire, muffler and hamburger.

At some point, the Greensburg one was given a beard and painted in the likeness of the Steelers’ Mean Joe Greene, a member of the “Steel Curtain” defense in the 1970s. Later, the beard was removed, its chiseled face was painted white and the statue was given quarterback Tommy Maddox’s jersey number.

Today, the big lug that also has a broken right elbow appears as if it’s a giant advertisement for a store selling Steelers T-shirts.

We love the sight of blood

By Amanda Gillooly

As I listlessly sifted through the pages of a celebrity magazine, trying to ignore the fuming rants of my uncle over the sub par performance of our Pittsburgh Penguins in the Stanley Cup finals, something in the waning moments in the game caught my attention.

The story I was reading Monday about Britney Spears’ maybe-baby bump was completely secondary when I saw the brawl break out on the ice, and for the first time in several hours, I was actually interested in the game.

And, I realized after being transfixed by grown men on skates connecting their fists with faces for a few moments, that we’re not so unlike the Romans after all. We say – and hope – that our culture has evolved, but out lust for violence wasn’t quenched when the empire faltered.

No, we still love the type of competition that goes beyond skill and athleticism. Even the most self-proclaimed gentiles among us would admit that we require some amount of violence, bloodshed even, to truly become engaged in a sport.

When the play stopped and the punches started flying, the fans in the Detroit arena were thrusting themselves against the plexiglass wall that separated them from the scuffles, making it rock precariously back in forth.

The fans were inches away from the shattering teeth and smashed noses, and their facial expressions were almost as painful to watch.

They loved it. They wanted more.

The masses nearly escalated into mobs when they saw blood. Members of the crowd worked themselves into a frenzy when they saw blood spattered on their favorite player’s jersey, or when an opponent’s helmet skidded morbidly across the ice.

But, I’m not judging. I’m just saying, is all.

I’m not into hockey, but I’m just as guilty when it comes to the Pittsburgh “Stillers,” and football in general. I guess I probably have a similar facial expression when a receiver leaps for a pass only to be bent in half by a corner.

And yes, I do get some crude pleasure out of seeing some poor bastard signal for the fair catch only to be bowled over by the opposing team.

And, God help me, but every time New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady drops back for a pass, a big part of me wants to see him get crushed by a linebacker two times his size.

I truly savor those few seconds of humility.

I’ll be driving the bus to Hell for this, but I have fantasies about the pretty boy Patriot getting blind-sided by someone like my man, Steelers linebacker Larry Foote.

I see Brady grasping his knee in a painful embrace that says, “That one’s going to be career ending.”

Oh, come on. I’m kidding. I’m not THAT cruel.

But, Roman or not, Brady still sucks.

Art Rooney's "den" gets a makeover

It is possible to decorate with everything Pittsburgh Steelers without coming off looking like a total yinzer.

Interior designer Christine Jones has pulled off this luxurious black-andigold look at the 2008 Pittsburgh Home and Garden Show, creating her vision of how a highbrow study could have looked in home of the team’s founder, Art Rooney. It’s part of an exhibit by fancy decorators who used famous Pittsburghers for décor concepts, including one of “Andy Warhol's kitchen” complete with refrigerator magnets inspired by his silkscreen portraits.

Meanwhile, Rooney’s office has a herringbone, black-and-gold-stained bamboo floor and an 18th-century mahogany map desk that surely would have met “The Chief’s” masculine decorating tastes.

Some classic Steelers memorabilia was borrowed for the design from BC Collectibles because Rooney’s study wouldn’t have been complete without reminders of some of the greatest moments in history.

What you won’t find in this “room” is former Steelers quarterback Terry Bradshaw’s likeness on black velvet. But there is a fancy fireplace behind an elegant Tibetan silk rug, a refined setting for passing around kielbasa, pierogies and Isaly’s chipped-chopped ham barbeque sandwiches.