Harvey, if you're listening, it's Amanda here

Dear Steve Harvey,

I must admit first off that I am not a loyal listener of your weekday radio show. In fact, I’m really not a loyal listener to any particular station while on fruitless pursuit for finding a decent song on my 37-mile ride to work. That’s what led me to you, Mr. Harvey, and your syndicated morning show.

I don’t know what started the conversation Monday, and I don’t know how it ended. But you piqued my interest when you were discussing suspicions in relationships. I was quite surprised to hear your views on both cheating and homosexuality.

I’m sure you remember it; you seemed pretty steamed when the ladies on your show didn’t smell what you were stepping in.

If I recall correctly, you said that a man who cheats on a woman is far different from a gay man being in a relationship with a woman. His rationale was that cheating is simply a “characteristic” while being gay is “a character flaw.”

I don’t know why I am continually surprised when I hear hateful homophobe’s like you spewing rhetoric about something you likely know little about.

But, Steve, in your case, I’d add hypocrite to that, as well.

After checking out your Web site, I learned that you’ve won numerous awards from the NAACP, and you laud your contributions to high schools across the nation to help further achievement.

The NAACP should be ashamed of honoring you, as your comments and point of view are inconsistent with its mission statement. Although the acronym stands for National Association for the Advancement of Colored People, the mission is to try to establish equality for “minority group citizens.”

Just as blacks fought to gain the same freedoms as whites, this time the minority is the homosexual sect. One of my best friends from college is “marrying” his boyfriend in our hometown of Pittsburgh.

As I’m sure you know, marriage rights are rare for homosexuals, and the Commonwealth provides no legal protection for guys like him. He’s in love, but that doesn’t matter.

And it further bothers me that anyone really believes that being homosexual is a character flaw. When I look at my best friend I see a man who is attractive, funny, compassionate, educated and in love. If he has any character flaws, it would likely be his poor diet (no one can really munch as hardcore as him. In college with limited food options, he talked a friend and me into eating sandwiches consisting of Nutella spread and Lucky Charms. No good).

Living in New York, I thought you would have had to know at least one gay man. But, then I learned you were originally from Cleveland, Ohio, and it started to make more sense.

Thank you for your time.
Warmest Regards,

Amanda “I just lost any respect I had for some guy who starred in a crappy television show for a few years” Gillooly

This place is a gas

ROSTRAVER TOWNSHIP, Pa. – The Fairway Inn is off the beaten track, and mostly seen by people who pass their time across the street at the popular Cedarbrook Golf Course.

The bar owners obviously are ticked about the record-high price of gasoline and have a sense of humor, judging by this sign outside the business along Route 981, just off Route 51.

Truth be told, the food they serve is pretty good, better than can be found at most restaurants in the Mid Mon Valley. And the beer is served cold at this inn in Rostraver Township.

(Hey, e-mail us a photo of your favorite "signz" with a description of them and we might post them...)

Skull tells no tale

MONONGAHELA, Pa. – Imagine finding an adult human skull stuffed in a box when you’re packing up and moving to a new home. Well members of a historical society in Southwestern Pennsylvania found one covered with a coat of shellac, and missing the lower jaw, while they were moving to a new headquarters. No problem. There was a substitute jawbone tucked away in the same box.

The Monongahela Area Historical Society has no information concerning the story behind the head bones. It’s possible a Knights of Columbus chapter once owned them as a creepy emblem of man’s humanity, the society president acknowledged.

“We don’t know where it’s from,” said Sue Bowers, society president.

The city is the oldest in the Mon Valley, dating to the time of the American Revolution, one with many “skeletons in its closet.” And the historical society does keep a list of titillating ghost stories that are retold during walking tours to haunted houses at the end of each October.

“At Halloween, I’ll put him out and say, ‘Velllllcome,’” Bowers said, rolling her eyes in a slow sinister sort of way in the direction of the skull. “People need to know their roots,” she said.

The new museum at 230 W. Main St. is expected to open in three weeks, and have limited hours. Stay posted for additional details, and at least one more story about a weird object in this collection.

A dinner party, Amanda style

“He deserves paradise who makes his companions laugh," Koran

By: Amanda Gillooly

The question: If you could invite five people – alive or dead – to
dinner, who would you choose? is such an icebreaker constant, that
it’s almost cliché. Despite its overuse in “getting to know you”
situations, I’m still interested to know who would get the invite.

In my experience, most people ponder for a moment before naming Jesus to their list of guests. After that, they generally choose an intellectual like Shakespeare or Hemingway.

Huh? Not me, man. I plan on kicking it with Jesus one day, but I
wouldn’t invite him to dinner. And for as much impact as Shakespeare and Hemingway have had on literature, I just don’t think either gentleman would think my dinner party was worth their time.

Because the beer would be flowing like water and above all things,
there would be laughter. Lots of laughter.

Don’t get me wrong, I read Ralph Waldo Emerson’s essays and find the man profoundly inspiring. But compared to, say Conan O’Brien, he might seem a bit dull sitting around my table. I just can’t see Emerson chugging a Blue Moon or asking if anyone wants more potato salad.

And as much as “Letters to a Young Poet” by Rainer Maria Rilke teaches me something new about life everyday, I just don’t think he’d be able to get me to snort some sort of liquid out of my nose.

Maybe I’m shallow, but I want people around my table who are
intrinsically funny. I’d like to eat a nice steak with people who can
tell a good story. Hey, it’s just me.

So here are my picks, in no particular order:

1. Conan O’Brien. He’s a longtime comedic hero, and one of those rare people you can just tell was born to make people laugh. And I don’t think I’ve seen anyone able to break someone out of his or her shell with his efficiency.

2. Chris Farley. Do I need to say more?

3. Stephen King. While others call his work “bubblegum fiction,” I
wholeheartedly disagree. I think the true measure of a writer may be
his ability to create characters you grow attached to, and to tell the
kind of story that draws you into its world and keeps you there for a
while. And after reading his part-autobiography, part-writing how-to
book “On Writing” I’m sure he’d provide enough colorful tales.

4. Neil Young. I have to meet the living legend that he is. I’m not
worthy…

5. My grandmother, Peg Crowe. She would round out the five, because I think it would be funny to see her make all those guys blush with her, um, colorful stories.

So I guess the question is, who would you want to spend the night with around a dining room table?

Under the Donora-Webster Bridge

This car smarts

Nothing would make me happier, as we approach Earth Day tomorrow, than to drive an economical car that gets 40 miles per gallon.

And with the price of gasoline at record highs, that “joy of life” could be found by scooting around in Mercedes' sexy new Smart Fortwo.

The cars are coated with water-soluble paint in three basic colors of black, white and yellow. They have recyclable body panels. Each car stands five feet, one inch tall and stretches eight feet, eight inches long. Two people, six feet, five inches tall, can seat comfortably in them.

But take a look at the sticker price - a fully loaded Smart Car sells for $24,000. That’s a lot of global warming of the wallet when there are cheaper models out there with similar gasoline savings that seat four people.

Meanwhile, people seem to enjoy a laugh on behalf of this car.

“It looks like a roller skate coming down the road, and that a strong wind would blow it over on the interstate,” said a writer I respect in the newsroom.

A guy who posts comments under my photos at Flickr has this say: “Cool car, but if you are over 200 pounds, it’s going to look like a clown mobile.”

For now, I’ll keep my tiny pickup because people already find enough reasons to poke fun at me. For example, one of our Web gurus just said that I look just like Mr. Potato Head.