This bourbon is too smooth to waste in the oven

This post started out to be about a recipe for ham glaze containing apricot preserves and bourbon. However, my stop at a liquor store detours this story to Labrot & Graham and its Woodford Reserve Distiller’s Select bourbon.

The brand stands out on the shelf over its competitors that include Jim Beam and Old Crow. Woodford’s thin, round-shouldered bottles are classy and manly, a reminder of a classic black-and-white movie scene with Humphrey Bogart pouring goblets of bourbon to share with a beautiful dame behind a piano. This isn’t the cheap stuff, either. Brewed near Versailles, KY, since 1812, Woodford is the official bourbon of the Kentucky Derby. Simply speaking, Woodford defines top shelf.

So back here in shot-and-beer territory south of Pittsburgh, Pa., it’s a miracle that my bottle lasted long enough to make it this week into Thanksgiving dinner.

That glaze recipe yanked from a page in the latest issue of GQ magazine calls for four tablespoons of the above-mentioned preserves and a cup of bourbon or rum warmed together over a stove and set aside while the ham cooks for about an hour. A sober cook should then apply this mixture to the ham before returning it to the oven until it reaches the right temperature.

This recipe will fail you. Instead, spoon an entire small jar of preserves into a sauce pan with about a half-cup or less of bourbon to ensure a thick dressing to dribble over the ham to counteract with all that salt it holds. A full cup of whiskey will just result in a runny glaze.

Aside from that, it would be a shame to send too much smooth Woodford to the drippings in a roasting plan. Save the rest for a day when your personal Ingrid Bergman stops by to lounge around and watch “Casablanca" one more time for good measure.

You're no one unless you brine that turkey

It’s an appropriate time for me to confess to following the trend of brining the Thanksgiving turkey.

The technique of soaking meat in salt water to preserve it and draw out bacteria is as old as the hills. But, the practice fell out of style after modern refrigeration gave us a safer place to store tomorrow's dinner.

Now, foodies are taking another stab at brining as a way to add flavor to any number of cuts of boring meat. I was on to this last Thanksgiving, but gave it a halfhearted attempt because it seemed dead wrong to add too many unfamiliar flavorings to a meal for my waspish relatives to handle in one sitting.

Yet my then-11-year-old picky-eating nephew who usually wants pizza exclaimed at the dinner table that that was the best turkey he had ever tasted. While he had no idea who prepared that bird, he has put in a request now for one “just like we had last year.”

So to satisfy a kid like him, you’ll need a vacation day and 12.7 oz jar of Victoria Taylor’s Traditional Brining Blend. It contains two cups of California sea salt, demerara sugar, spices, Malabar black peppercorns, citric acid, garlic and orange peel.

Blend this aromatic spice kit into two cups of boiling water and then cool it with three cups of ice. If you are really smooth in the kitchen, you will have a giant airtight Zip Lock Bag to use to soak the bird overnight in the fridge in the brine and two gallons of cold water.

Wake up early Thanksgiving to pop that Tom into the oven resting in white wine and vegetables. Don't forget to tie up its legs and cover the breast meat with cheesecloth to keep the white meat moist. I stuff mine with one pear to sweeten the stock for the gravy.

Next up: a recipe for ham glaze.

Drool baby drool.

A sheet cake that spits in the eye of Wal-Mart

That's your loss....

My sympathies go out to those of you who don’t live near me and cannot purchase one of these sheet cakes.

Each time a staffer says goodbye to the Observer-Reporter newsroom, or celebrates such as milestone there as having a baby or turning 60, my coworkers cry out for a cake from Valdiserri’s Bakery to mark the occasion.

The standard order from the shop in North Belle Vernon, Pa., is a marble cake with raspberry apple filling and buttercream icing. It has no rival, unless your mother is Martha Stewart wannabe. If that’s the case, my heartfelt sympathies are extended to you once more.

This bakery is found in a nondescript storefront along a main street that is alive with business, even though it’s just around the bend from a Wal-Mart. Tell that to all the big-box store opponents who claim those retail giants kill off local business.

Valdiserri’s, which has been around for decades, can teach small business owners facing overwhelming competition something about quality products, friendliness and staying power. And, it makes a mighty fine fish hoagie bun to boot.

On top of that, the place at 513 Broad Ave. is doing just fine without a Web site to boost its sales.

Sit down girls, Annie is in the house

Annie Lennox takes center stage over the younger competition, including Christina Aguilera and Beyonce, with her performance tonight at the American Music Awards.

Unlike the others in a long and showy lineup, the audience can actually understand each and every word sung by the 53-year-old Scot as she accompanies herself on a grand piano. She doesn't need glitz, backup singers and spiffy background dancers to sell that voice.

Lennox’ range is incredibly intact while belting out her signature song, “Why.” She finishes with a soulful emphasis on this stretch of the lyrics: “Do you know how I feel? 'Cause I don't think you know how I feel.”

‘It’s been an incredible journey,” she said, thanking her fans for receiving a special merit award. She also acknowledges former Eurythmics bandmate Dave Stewart for her success while accepting the trophy from a gracious Justin Timberlake.

We may never know what stirs her imagination, but should forever be grateful that she’s still around to attempt to explain herself in song.

The Los Angeles-based show's producers attempt in this program to appeal to younger audiences, but the older diva gives them the only performance worth remembering. Take a lesson from the best Queen Latifah.

(Photo: The Associated Press)

Care to get married on this old span?

A Party to mark the 100th birthday of the Donora-Webster Bridge

WEBSTER, Pa. - This grainy scan of photograph of the Donora-Webster Bridge under construction in 1908 comes to us today from a reader in Aurora, NY. It’s posted because it’s a rare photo and a timely one because a celebration is being planned to mark the 100th birthday of this span in southwestern Pennsylvania in two weeks.

There will be politicians, speeches, live music, food and souvenirs – just like there were when the bridge opened Dec. 5, 1908. So far, what is missing from the Saturday, Dec. 6, 2008, party is a wedding.

Harriet S. Binley of Webster married John Charles Witherspoon on the span when it opened. She was a daughter of a family with old money in the small farming and light manufacturing town that had become overshadowed by its neighbor, Donora, and its then-new, prosperous steel mill. Witherspoon was a newcomer who was dispatched to Webster by Pittsburgh Coal Co. to oversee its developing coal mines.

The wedding attracted a stupendous crowd. The nuptials were delayed, though, because another main attraction at the accompanying parade, the Monongahela Ku Klux Klan, had missed the train to Donora. That tidbit was proudly noted in the local newspaper.

Webster folks hosted that banquet, but they didn’t prepare anywhere near enough food for the guests, many of whom went away from the ox roast gnawing on bones. Another large crowd turned out in the 1980s to witness two weddings on the bridge when it opened again after undergoing renovations. Once again, there wasn’t enough food.

It’s not too late for a couple to volunteer to exchange their wedding vows on this aging bridge for the upcoming party. The day’s events begin at 3 p.m. and will feature a performance by the popular Pittsburgh band, Donora. Drop me an e-mail to get in touch with the appropriate party planners to arrange a quick wedding on this bridge. It might be wise to pack a lunch before you turn out for this excitement.

Comb-over questions

Donald Trump Signed Photo, originally uploaded by trishautographs.

By Amanda Gillooly

It was more than a comb-over. It was more like a swirl-over. Think Donald Trump, minus the millions.

Clearly balding, the gentleman in question was apparently trying to hide the shiny spot by parting his remaining strands severely to the right, swooping it up and around.

Yes, I was definitely staring, mouth wide open. But I swear my gaze wasn’t as much critical as it was quizzical.

As I watched the dude, a number of valid questions came to mind. I hope that any comb-over enthusiasts will kindly e-mail me so I won’t lie awake each night, pondering the majesty of the ‘do.

Here goes:

1.) How long does it take to construct those things? I have no idea how early one would need to wake up to for a properly coiffed comb-over. Does it take 30 minutes? Twice that long? I also can’t help but wonder what type of styling products need to be employed to achieve the necessary bald-spot coverage, and what the lifespan of the ‘do is. Do the men sporting this look have stock in Aquanet? Dunno.
2.) Very much like many men wonder what PA pop princess Christina Aguilara looks like when she wakes up in the morning sans-makeup, I need to know what comb-over aficionado’s look like when they get out of the shower. Considering that one side of their hair has to be much longer than the other, I can’t image it being a pretty sight.
3.) What are the ethics involved with this hairstyle? Don’t these guys have any friends? Wives? Girlfriends? They do? For real? Because I’ve seen way too many wilting comb-overs to believe that for a second. Friends shouldn’t let friends have a pile of hair sliding unctuously down their foreheads. Much like I would expect one of my close friends to tell me if my fly was down or if I had some sort of food product between my teeth, I’d think these men in question would want someone to say: “Uh, dude? You’re hair has become undone. You might want to give that hair awning a little volume.”
4.) What kind of conversation do these poor bastards have with their stylists? Enough said.

So please, if you are a man trying to cover up your receding hairline and you are privy to the answers to any of these questions, please leave me a comment. You can do so anonymously and it would really be helping a sister out.